Tag Archives: school year

The Primacy of Relationships

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The first of the essential variables of the education equation are the relationships between students and their teachers. A universal truth can be said to be that “the quality of one’s life is a function of the quality of our relationships with the people in our lives.” We often hear of individuals blessed with wealth and fame only to learn their lives are consumed by broken relationships and one or more devastating addictions. We are sad to learn how many of these lives come to a tragic end.

When it comes to young children in school there is nothing more important than secure, nurturing and enduring relationships with one or more teachers. This is particularly true of five- and six-year-old children who arrive for their first day of kindergarten, but it is just as true when students move, at the beginning of a new school year, to a new teacher whom they have never met.

It is my assertion that the heart is a portal to the mind and that our best chance to be successful in helping students experience academic success, emotional growth, and good behavior is a close and enduring bond with one’s teacher.

What we know about the remarkable brains of our children is that they are programmed to soak up the world around them and can learn whatever is available to be learned—even after deprivation, illness, and injury—with a little help from its friends, of which teachers are among the most important. Often teachers are the most important.

Yes, we all know how much it helps if parents are involved and accept responsibility for their children, but we also know parenting has never been more difficult than it is today. Whether a child has wonderful relationships with parent(s) or a relationships that are toxic, their teachers and classrooms provide a safe and caring oasis in what is an otherwise difficult and hectic life.

For many of us thinking back on our years in school we are lucky to remember one or two favorite teachers who, for one year, made a difference in our lives. For those of you reading these words who are teachers, how many favorite students, over the course of your career, are peaking around the curtains of your memory, and still bring a smile to your face.

During the first few weeks of the school year, the development of special relationships must be our highest priority, one that is sacrificed for nothing, at any time. A sad reality in our schools throughout the U.S. is that, at the end of every school year, we sever many of the special relationships we were successful in forging over the previous two semesters. It can be equally distressing for students to find that friend(s) whom they looked forward to seeing every day, will be in a classroom down the hall at the beginning of a new and often frightening new school year. Just another routine practice creating distress for kids.

In a June 1, 2022, article in EdWeek, by Hayley Hardison, with the title, “Looping with Students: When it Works and When it Doesn’t.” Citing a 2018 study she concludes that, “. . . looping with elementary students resulted in improved student test scores with the benefits greatest for students of color.”[1]

Not all agree and there are exceptions to almost everything in life. What I have endeavored to do in the development of The Hawkins Model© is, first, to develop some strategies to facilitate the formation and duration of these relationships, and second to make the model adaptive, seeking alternate approaches when students and teachers found this strategy to be counterproductive.

The development of long term, positive relationships between classmates also creates advantages for teachers as they strive to manage both the power of peer relationships, whether positive or negative, and the behavioral issues that often disrupt our classrooms.

In a subsequent blog post we will describe what I believe to be the best way to capitalize on this idea of the “primacy of relationships.”

The existing education process almost totally discounts what I believe to be the single most important variable in the education equation.

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[1] https://www.edweek.org/teaching-learning/looping-with-students-when-it-works-and-when-it-doesnt/2022/06

Should not our Schools Be Set Up On the Basis of How Children Learn?

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One of the principles of Positive Leadership is to challenge people to re-think their underlying assumptions about why we do what we do. Education in America provides a perfect example of a system that demands a complete re-examination.
Think about the way children learn to walk or ride a bike. Children learn these things very much the same way as they learn almost everything else. We provide lots of encouragement and many of opportunities to practice whatever it is they are striving to learn. We understand that some children learn more quickly than others and when we are teaching them to walk or ride a bike we do not push them to learn any more quickly than they are able. We know that the only thing that matters is the fact that they do learn. When children make a mistake while learning to walk or ride a bike, they fall down. When that happens, we pick them up, give them give them a hug or a kiss, dust them off, and we encourage them to try again.
What we do not do is tally the number of times they fall nor do we diminish the degree to which we celebrate their ultimate success based on the number of mistakes they made along the way. We also do not push them ahead before they are ready. If we are helping two children learn how to walk, simultaneously for example, and one child catches on quickly, we do not stop working with the child who is struggling. Neither do we begin teaching both children, ready or not, how to run. Riding the bike is the same way. When the first child to learn takes off on her own, we do not push the second child to take off in pursuit and we certainly do not start teaching them both to develop more advanced skills. Rather, we give each the attention they need appropriate to their progress.
We continue to work with the child who struggles and we do so patiently, providing lots of support and encouragement. Once both children are walking or riding proficiently, we do not remind the latter child that their counterpart learned more quickly and we do not celebrate the quicker child’s success more lavishly. The reality is that, once both have learned, one walks or rides every bit as good as the other. It no longer matters, in the least, that one took longer to learn than the other.
Now, think about the way we teach children in the overwhelming majority of our schools. We present a lesson to the entire class and we encourage them to practice, both at school and at home. We call it homework, not practice. The next day, we gather up all the homework and we grade it and spend some time going over the most common mistakes that students make in an effort to help them learn from their mistakes.
Then we do three things that are pretty incomprehensible when you think about it. The first is that we do not devote extra time the students who made the most mistakes.
Secondly, we record either the grades each child earned on their practice and factor those scores into their final grade at the end of the grading period, semester, or school year; or, we give them credit for completion of the homework and this also is factored in to the grade the child is given at the end of the grading period.
The third unfathomable thing we do is to move the entire class on to the next lesson in our textbooks or syllabus, ready or not.
The fact that one or more of our students is poorly prepared for the next lesson might trouble us, but the expectation of the entire American educational system is that we have to move everyone along to make sure we cover all of the material identified by the educational standards that drive our curricula and our competency testing process. We also label the students who learned more quickly and successfully as “A” or “B” students or “honor” students and, we label the slower kids as “C”, “D”, or even “F” students. We may or may not feel some sense of concern that these labels may follow our students well into the future but that’s the way it is done and so we shove our reticence aside and plunge ahead.
If we look closely and carefully, we will probably be able to tell that the kids we have labeled as “A” or “B” students seem to be having more fun and demonstrate more enthusiasm for learning than the “C, D, or F” students. In fact, it does not take long before it is pretty obvious that the latter group of children is having no fun at all and are demonstrating a diminished enthusiasm for learning. Oh, well, as the saying goes, “it is what it is!”
We observe this even though each and every one of us understands that it is as much fun to learn successfully and as it is demoralizing to fail repeatedly. How often do we refuse to play a game at which we habitually lose?
If we were to examine this practice from a positive leadership perspective, what an educator, school principal, school superintendent, or educational policy maker would do would be to step back and begin to question what we are doing and why. These positive leaders would begin to challenge some of their assumptions about why we do what we do, the way we do it.
The truth is that every time we push a child on to a next lesson before they are ready we are setting him or her up for failure. It is this practice, as much as anything else we do, that leads to an unhealthy focus on failure throughout our entire systems of education.
If you are reading this post, you are challenged to begin asking some serious questions of our professional educators and policy makers.